We’ve all experienced the soul-crushing moment a snack machine plays God with our hunger. Our money is gone but the snack just hangs in front of our face, protected by glass, taunting us with its smooth, caramel center.
Robert McKevitt experienced that moment and retrieved his legally purchased confection using any means necessary. McKevitt brought a forklift to a vending machine fight.
He says he deposited $1 in a vending machine, selected a 90-cent Twix bar, and then watched as the candy bar crept forward in its slot, began its descent and was abruptly snagged by a spiral hook that held it suspended in midair.
James Patterson can’t even build suspense like that! What happened next Robert?!?
“I was, like, ‘Oh, man,’ ” said McKevitt, 27. “So I put in another dollar, and then it wouldn’t do anything.”
The machine had $2 dollars of McKevitt’s money! What’s a man to do?!?!
At first, McKevitt’s frustration took the customary route: He banged the side of the machine. He tried rocking it back and forth.
Of course he did! It’s what we all do. But then most of us either tell the operations manager or steal a snack from the fridge that belongs to a co-worker. Not Robert McKevitt.
But when that didn’t work, McKevitt walked away and commandeered an 8,000-pound forklift, according to state unemployment compensation records. He reportedly drove up to the vending machine, lifted it 2 feet off the concrete warehouse floor — then let it drop. He allegedly repeated the maneuver at least six times, by which time three candy bars had fallen into the chute for his retrieval.
And the gathered crowd erupted “FUCK YEAH!”, or maybe they didn’t, but I would have in the moment. McKevitt is like the modern day Robin Hood except this isn’t stealing, he got fired five days later, and the real Robin Hood hated Twix. It’s a little known fact.
McKevitt, who served in Afghanistan, was denied unemployment benefits because of his actions. McKevitt claims he just “shook” the machine and is angry about being denied benefits. “That machine was trouble,” he said. “They fired me, and now I hear they have all new vending machines there.”
The vending machine wins again. It always does.