Us fast food frequenters have very low expectations. Just provide us temporary bliss before we deliver a baby out our buttholes. We don’t hold you to standards like ‘nutrition’ and ‘cleanliness’ and we certainly don’t need you to provide gluten-free options. Just fuck our faces with your deliciousness, leave us lying in our food comas, and then jet while we doze off to sleep. No goodbye kiss, no leaving of numbers, just leave. Trust me, we’ll be back.
But the reality of it is that even after you find out what this Keene, New Hampshire child found at the bottom of his Wendy’s cup, you’ll still keep going back. I believe that’s what some classify as ‘addiction.’
The child’s mother posted the below photos to Facebook, causing a national stir.
A fucking razor blade! How?
According to the Keene, New Hampshire acting health director, the incident occurred after some faulty procedure by the Wendy’s staff. He told the Keene Sentinel that a cleaning company employee found the razor blade in the trash and put it in a cup in an attempt to keep it somewhere safe. The cup was then filled and then given to Simonds, who just barely dodged ingesting it.
While the murder attempt won’t change my opinion of Wendy’s being the best fast food joint in America (this is non-negotiable), I may wait until Thursday to go back. TAKE THAT WENDY YOU SICK FUCK!
[h/t Death and Taxes]