This May Be The Cleanest, Most Vicious Knockout In The History Of Spring Break

What do you guys think of the outcome: split decision? If I absolutely had to pick a winner, I’d probably choose the dude in the Coming To America outfit, seeing as he killed a man. Now, I’m a lover. Fights make me anxious. But, if I were to ever enjoy watching a man get put to sleep, he would have to be wearing jeans on the beach. That’s grounds for death by lethal injection. And by that metric, this poor bastard got what he had coming to him. I’d advise spectators to bury that dude in the sand, give everyone in the crowd a lit candle, and have close friends say a few nice words about him. Give him the Spring Break Funeral he deserves.

Don’t cry for the man. He looks to have went peacefully.


[h/t Media Takeout]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.