Dude Goes ATM And Then Gets Blasted In The Face With White Substance, And No It’s Not What You’re Thinking, Sicko

To be honest, I was most surprised that this dude has a bank account to withdraw from. Granted, I’ve done idiotic shit like this many times when I’m hammered, but then again, I can’t withdrawn money from my bank account because I’m in the red. I’d be pretty impressed if this dude actually was able to navigate the ATM instructions. That PIN number can be illusive if you’re not thinking straight, and it must be tough to see the key pad when your eyes are stinging from 12 ounces of suds. ATMs everywhere should offer the option to forgo the insane transaction fees in favor of being blasted in the face with a full brew. Shit, I’d get blasted in the face with just about anything to put three extra bucks in my pocket. Anything.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.