Florida + Festivus = Perfection

by 6 years ago

Bros, we’re less than 9 days out from Christmas so if you have any shopping you need to get done know that you have 8 more days until you actually need to buy anything.

But December isn’t just a time for Christmas, is it? Tonight’s the first night of Chanukah…the first of 8 CRAZY NIGHTS.

It’s also the week of Festivus, the holiday created by George Costanza’s father in ‘Seinfeld‘. My recollection’s a little hazy, because it’s been quite a few years since that episode of Seinfeld first aired, but basically everyone surrounds a Festivus pole and there’s an ‘airing of grievances’ in which each person takes a turn telling everyone exactly what they did that year that pissed them off.

I don’t even know why I’m explaining Festivus to you because it’s pretty deeply engrained on our culture at this point, but if you want to learn more about it you can head on over HERE to the Festivus Wiki page.

So what does any of this have to do with this article? Well, as it turns out some atheist in Florida has petitioned to have his Festivus pole made from PBR cans put on display at the Florida Capitol building in Tallahassee.

Florida’s Department of Management Services has accepted applications from a number of different groups seeking to have their nativity scenes displayed at the capitol. I wrote about one a few weeks ago in which the SATANISTS are going to display an angel falling into the fiery depths of Hell…that one goes on display next week, after the Festivus pole is taken down.

From News4Jax:

A 6-foot-tall stack of empty Pabst Blue Ribbon cans, built to mark the sitcom-inspired Festivus holiday, returned to the Florida Capitol on Monday for a second year.

The pole, the creation of Deerfield Beach political blogger Chaz Stevens, will stand across the first-floor rotunda from a more-elaborate nativity scene put up the same day by the Florida Prayer Network.

Stevens sees his pole as a protest against the nativity scene, intended to make a point about the need for a separation between church and state.

“My game plan was very simple, make a circus out of it, make it a fiasco, make it ridiculous,” Stevens said Monday. “I hope next year that some Haitian fellows with the slaying of chickens want to come up, or some other crazy what not, because we need to take all of this out of here.”

Stevens’ Festivus pole (pictured) is among a number of displays that have been approved by the Department of Management Services for this year’s holiday season. A one-week limit has been placed on the displays.

Festivus is a “holiday” created for the TV sitcom “Seinfeld” as a non-commercial festival “for the rest of us” in the Christmas and year-end holiday season.

Pam Olsen, president of the Florida Prayer Network, said she isn’t deterred by the displays proposed by Stevens, atheists groups and the Satanists.

“They’re here to protest Christ and Christmas,” Olsen said. “While I don’t like some of the displays, and I think it’s inappropriate, I’m sad because I think we should look for the hope and the message of love and joy and peace that the holiday does bring.”

I’m actually down in Florida right now and considered driving up to Tally next week to take some photos of the Satanic nativity scene…but 330 miles for a photo that will quickly surface on Getty Images seems like a bit of a waste to me.

Either way, tune back next week when the Satanists invade and a religious war uncoils on the grounds of the Florida Capitol building. Which, by the way, if you’ve never seen the Florida Capitol building it looks like a giant cock and balls (picture below).

To read more and see photos of the PBR Can Festivus pole you can head on over to News4Jax HERE.


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