You have a lot of cocaine on you and the cops approach you in a parking garage, do you:
A.) Run
B.) Act cool and hope they are looking for someone else
C.) Swallow the coke
D.) Shove the drugs up your bootyhole
E.) Hide the coke in your dick
If you answered “E.) Hide the coke in your dick” then you are probably Joshua Hare. The 24-year-old British man thought he had outsmarted the authorities by hiding coke in his uncircumcized penis. The cocaine may have been cut, but Hare’s dick definitely was not.
Metro has the details on the Hare-raising situation:
Police were called after a member of the public spotted the 24-year-old making a nuisance of himself in a carpark outside Homebase at around 8.30am.
He put up a little bit of a fight with officers and was arrested and taken to hospital on June 17, the court heard.
During the trial Keith Ballinger, prosecuting, described how the wrap of drugs slowly ’emerged’ from Hare’s genitals.
And you thought you had issues with untimely boners. Swindon police found 7.2 grams of cocaine hidden in Hare’s foreskin. SEVEN GRAMS OF COKE!?!?! What did this guy have a sleeping bag for a foreskin?
The coke cock smuggler pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine and failing to surrender to bail and was jailed for a total of 12 weeks. That’s not how you get a blow job.
I never thought about it before, but I guess having an uncircumcised penis has benefits, including having storage space. It’s like your foreskin is a fanny pack for your dick. So good for you dudes who have hoodies on your dick.