This Hottie Who Can Chug A Beer In 5 Seconds Using Only Her Mouth Is Everything I’ve Ever Wanted In A Woman

Last week, we brought you the fastest beer chug in human history. It was mind-boggling, and I never thought I could be impressed with a beer chug. But I’ve learned today that there’s something to be said for a chick who looks like she just got off work taking down a pint like a boss in 5.5 seconds while going hands-free. Moral of the story: fastest doesn’t always mean best. Just ask your girlfriend. boomroasted.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.