A Lady’s Incessant Farting Outed Her As A Meth Smuggler

Rogers County Sheriff’s Office

Apparently when some people are overcome with anxiety, they become terribly gassy.

That sounds terrible. I can’t imagine there’s much worse than being a nervous, farty mess.

That’s exactly what Chanele Benita Pauley was when she was pulled over. Sweating and farting. And sure, it could have just been a bad hangover, but a good cop knows to press.

When Rogers County Deputy Scotty Moree searched further, he found Pauley was trying to give the gift of Christmas Meth.

Pauley’s trunk had four boxes cloaked in Christmas wrapping paper and a trash bag with blue rubber gloves, used tape, napkins and the plastic wrap that came on the wrapping paper.

The deputy unwrapped the gifts and found several sealed bags with 8½ pounds of a white, crystalline substance that tested positive for meth, according to court documents cited by KOTV.

Man, imagine how much she’s farting in jail right now. Bet her cellmates hate her.

[H/T UPROXX, Via NYDN]