Millennial Girl Goes Full Millennial By Dropping A Scorching H-O-T Rant On Her Fellow Entitled Millennials

Millennials love ranting about their fellow millennials. They write long-winded epistles that are all more or less the same: “blah blah blah — no one works hard anymore!!!… blah blah blah — we’re all so entitled to things we can’t pay for!!!” Look at that marketing company CEO who put millennials on blast in an open-letter yesterday: He literally sounded like a parrot with the same broken-record talking points about how wimpy millennials are, it’s just the Internet took him a little more seriously because the letters C.E. and O. were in his job title. We just love getting off to those three letters since they indicate a weird bellwether of socio-economic success.

Personally, I’m over the whole “open letter to millennials” thing. It’s tired. I’m bored by it. Stef Williams said everything that needed to be said a couple weeks ago. Every week since then, a new rant has gone viral. In true millennial fashion, I’m bored with these.

The “rants” people write or scream on YouTube are a mad libs of saying “lazy/entitled/stoned/horny/selfish” and they offer no solution for changing the ways of the world. They’re just a simple display of “hey, I agree with this person!” therapy for people who like to overuse the Facebook share button.

Every “angry millennial rant” — including the one above — just exists to use the current generation as a punching bag for whatever might kick the proverbial social media beehive on any given day. One day it might be manors. The next, social entitlement. The next, work ethic.

If you want to truly use your words to bitch about how shitty/lazy/entitled/stoned/horny/selfish millennials are, BE ORIGINAL and offer a suggestion for how we could be doing better. No one does that. The bottomline is that, statistically, more millennials are getting off their asses and starting more businesses than their parents generation ever did, poking swiss cheese-sized holes in these dusty diatribes about how “shitty/lazy/entitled/stoned/horny/selfish” millennials are.

The reality is that the millennial generation is no different from other generation since the beginning of time other than the fact that (a. by sheer population size there’s a lot of us on this planet and (b. we simply have a different set of priorities from our grandparents. That’s a-O.K.!  If you want to smoke weed every day while developing a killer app idea that some fellow millennial visionary wants to back with V.C. money, who am I  to give a shit about your life decisions? As long as you pay your taxes and realize that the world will always need ditch-diggers, chase your dreams, buddy.

Anyway, here’s a rant from some girl who wants to be the next person to have a rant about millennials. Whether or not you take it seriously is up to you. This comment hits it on the head for me:

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Below, the story of a millennial wanted to be a gym teacher. Then, in college, she realized that actually her powers were better harnessed as a swimsuit model. Her genes for such employment might piss you off, but can you really blame someone for wanting a financially-stable, emotionally/physically rewarding career that encourages you to be your best AND doesn’t involve getting hit by a kickball in the face? Props, Samantha Hoopes. Live the millennial dream:

P.P.S. The best satire about millennials by millennials is Millennials of New York. Then again, I hope you have enough self-awareness to realize that it’s satire and meant to be funny as fuck.