How Moving To The Big City Is Like Going 12 Rounds In A Heavyweight Boxing Match

moving big city boxing match

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Every year thousands of college graduates set off to make good on their four years worth of boozing, all-nighters, procrastination and nonstop identity crises to attempt and repay the whopping lump sum they paid an institution who vaguely promised them financial gain upon commencement. As such, every year college graduates enter into the job hunt to start their trek toward the grim outlook of an American Dream.

Most of these college grads decide that their best option for making the big bucks is to take off for a big city and find financial freedom among countless other hopefuls in the same job market. Well, it’s not quite as easy as signing a lease and dropping off a resume or two at big corporate offices for you to land on your feet.

Really, taking off for the big city is a lot like entering into a sporting match that takes time, preparation and determination to pull off a win. A sporting event that leaves you beaten down even if you win. What I’m saying is that moving to the big city is like stepping into the ring for a heavyweight bout with a formidable opponent.

Good luck!

Round 1

You want to get a feel for what this big move is all about. You certainly can’t just pick up and move, much like you don’t want to start throwing haymakers. Take a few jabs at some jobs and places to live and be ready for a few surprising punches to the face that let you know it’s time to get focused.

Back in the corner: “C’mon kid! You can do it! Now get back out there and show ‘em what you’re made of!”

Round 2

Things are heating up, meaning you’re taking on a bunch of interviews and filling out housing applications like wildfire. You’re rolling with the punches and finding the best way to defeat this behemoth of a city.

Back in the corner: “That’s the spirit, kid! Now work his soft spots (i.e. niche markets), that’s how you can really contend!”

Round 3

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You’ve got to wait out all your application processes (jobs and housing), so nothing is really going to get done here. You tie things up in the ropes or the corner so the big city doesn’t beat you down before you’ve even had a chance.

Back in the corner: “What are you doing kid? Get off the ropes! Don’t sit back and just take it! You’ve got to be on the offensive to beat the big city!”

Round 4

You still haven’t heard back about anything. You stay on the ropes – maybe you can win this fight by decision. There’s no way you can beat the big city by knockout.

Back in the corner: “Get off the ropes! I’m throwing in the towel if you don’t get off the ropes! Do you even want to win this thing?”

Round 5

You try to start being more bold in this bout, but the big city ain’t having it. Renters deny your applications because you’re from out of town, as do employers, so it’s like the biggest catch-22 of all time. You’re very much on the defensive trying to find a way into this big city.

Back in the corner: “This was a terrible idea! We never truly supported this fight! You should’ve stayed in your hometown! The big city is out of your league! Are you sure you want to keep fighting?”

Round 6

You’re a little dazed from getting bullied by the big city. You start to think maybe you should throw in the towel and work your way throw the lesser opponents (your hometown).

Back in the corner: “Alright kid! You aren’t seriously going to keep trying this are you? This is a pretty insurmountable foe!”

Round 7

You go down for an eight count. Your vision is blurry. Things are looking bleak.

Back in the corner: “Give up kid! You gave it your best shot! Maybe this just isn’t your time!”

Round 8

You come at this move with a whole new perspective. You’ve been knocked on your ass, but you’ve learned from those mistakes. You know now how you can tackle the big city, and how to convince the gatekeepers you’re worthy of the challenge.

Back in the corner: “I don’t know kid! Still seems like a bad idea! But, you’re putting everything you’ve got into this, and that takes guts.”

Round 9

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You get in a couple swift punches. Now the big city is on the ropes with no chance of fending off your flurry of fisticuffs.

Back in the corner: “Okay, that’s it kid!”

Round 10

You land an uppercut and the big city goes down for a hard nine-count. Somehow you now have a place to live. Employment is still TBD by the judges – just push this fight out to a decision.

Back in the corner: “You’re an animal kid! Keep at it! We believed in you all along!”

Round 11

You pack up and hit the road. Avoid any body blows from the big city, you’ve just about made it to the end.

Back in the corner: “This is it kid! You’ve made it this far. Don’t try anything crazy and you can win this thing! We’re damn proud of you and supported you fully along the way–forget how we told you to give up and prove us wrong!”

Round 12

You’ve made it to the big city and went the distance against a formidable opponent. Ease your way into it. The black eyes represent the multiple blows to the head and the sleepless nights you’ve had leading up to this moment.

THE RESULTS ARE IN…

A split decision! You made it to the big city, but some factors indicate everything hasn’t been settled quite so simply from this match. You’ll need to grant a rematch (set for a year from now) to see if you really have what it takes to beat the big city – unanimously.

City image by Shutterstock

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