NASA Plans To Give The Moon A Moon, And My Head Just Exploded

Simply landing on the moon was so 1969. The people want more.

It looks like a bunch of NASA astronauts sat around smoking space weed and eating Dippin Dots when one of them was like “Bros. Wouldn’t it be cool….hear me out here…if we put like, a moon on the MOON.” And they were all like, “duuuude, screw finding a new sustainable planet to live on when this one shits the bed, a fucking moon on the moon will solve everything braaaah.”

How they’ll do it, via Wired:

By sending an aircraft to an asteroid, scooping a boulder off its surface with a robotic claw, and bringing it back into the moon’s orbit.

Following the drop, NASA will send astronauts up there to study the space rocks, bringing back sampled for you and I.

This mission, which is scheduled for December 2020 and will cost $1.25 billion, is also said to be a trial run to test equipment and techniques needed to travel to Mars.

It would take approximately two years to reach the asteroid and the space craft will spend about 400 days up there looking for the PERFECT rock, ideally 13 feet in diameter. I spent 22 minutes in a Jared jewelry store looking for the perfect rock, but 400 days seems a bit excessive. NASA ASTRONAUTS ALWAYS MAKING US EARTHLINGS LOOK BAD!

The mission gives NASA the opportunity to practice navigation and maneuvering tactics that will be essential if we stand a chance at getting to Mars. The mission might also teach astronauts how to prevent an asteroid for hitting Earth (thanks, guys!) by nudging the asteroid off track and altering it’s trajectory.

So ya guys, have fun up there. I’ll play my part down here on Earth by blogging about it and eating pizza crust out of my couch cushions. Best of luck!

Via Wired

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.