The Federal Government Ruled It’s Illegal For Your Employer To Ask You To Be Happy At Work

One of the joys of the modern office is perks culture. Unlike the lone coffee pot in the break room of the 1970s, workplaces today have an array of unbelievable offerings: espresso bars, free lunch, bartenders in house, ball pits, relaxation chairs, and smoothies.

With it, though, comes the tacit compromise that you, employee, are supposed to appreciate these perks, and be a happier and more productive employee because of them.

But thanks to a just released decision in a case again T-Mobile, a panel with the National Labor Relations Board ruled its policy of asking its employees to be positive at work is illegal.

Yea. Fuck happiness.

From The National Law Review:

In a decision last week in T-Mobile USA, Inc. and Communications Workers of America and Communications Workers of America Local 7011, AFL–CIO, the board agreed with administrative law judge (ALJ) Christine E. Dibble and overturned several of T-Mobile’s handbook rules. But the board then went further than Judge Dibble even went and found additional rules to be unlawful.

T-Mobile’s rule on positive work environment stated: “[T-Mobile] expects all employees to behave in a professional manner that promotes efficiency, productivity, and cooperation. Employees are expected to maintain a positive work environment by communicating in a manner that is conducive to effective working relationships with internal and external customers, clients, co-workers, and management.”

In the board’s view, “[w]e find that employees would reasonably construe the rule to restrict potentially controversial or contentious communications and discussions, including those protected by Section 7 of the [NLRA], out of fear that the [employer] would deem them to be inconsistent with a ‘positive work environment.’”

So tell your job to suck it while enjoying your Friday quiche. I know that’s what I’m gonna do.

I’m kidding, of course. Today we had ham baguettes with goat cheese and cornichons for free breakfast. Not quiche. They were okay.

[Via @ShaneFerro]