At best, Ted Cruz looks like the kind of guy you’d expect to catch peeking at you through the gaps between public bathroom stall doors. “I wasn’t watching you poo,” he explains, “I was just trying to see if someone was in there or not.” Surrrrreee you were. That’s why your pants are around your ankles and your dick is in your hand right?
However, that truly begs the question “How bad ugly can this guy possibly be if the A++ version of him is a closeted bathroom pervert?” Well today is your lucky day Bros, because for once I actually have an answer to my rhetorical question. At his worst, Ted Cruz looks like this:
Yep, at Ted Cruz’s worst he looks like this chick on the Maury Show who was trying to figure out who the father of her child was. Politically, this is the antithesis of Ted Cruz – physically, they are either twins or Ted Cruz genuinely enjoys throwing on wigs and pretending he gives birth to children out of wedlock, which is still the antithesis of Ted Cruz.
And as I’m sure you expected, Twitter had an absolute field day with this:
[H/T Daily Mail]