This Hot Photographer Chick Who Takes Dick Pics Professionally Makes More Money Than You Do

I’m probably going to regret writing this story, but what’s one more regret in a life of them?

During the infantile stages of the relationship with my ex-girlfriend, our text message exchange had heated up to the point where a dick pic was the logical next step. I felt weird just Snapchatting her a picture of my flesh rocket without any context, so I dimmed the lights to a soft hue and lined up three Matchbox cars in a cool parking pattern on my bed. I then dropped my semi-erect meat popsicle (Dick pic 101: never go full hard-on. Always leave something to be desired.) into the scene with the Matchbox cars, snapped a pic, and captioned “THOSE ARE REAL CARS.”

It took her a few hours to respond, but it was truly a work of art and I pat myself on the pecker for it every day.

If only I had known there was a way to monetize my gift like this New York-based photographer Soraya Doolbaz did, I would be swimming in that dick dough now instead of embarrassing myself on the internets.

Doolbaz has created a business out of taking creative dick pics and have displayed her artwork at the esteemed Miami Art Basel, where her prints have sold for $10,000 EACH.

The concept of these dick pics is that Doolbaz uses little costumes to dress up the dicks she’s shooting as characters–such as Dongye West, Dicki Minaj, Fidel Cockstroke, and Benito Mussoweenie. Nice.

As Some eCards points out, Doolbaz uses models for her artwork, and requests that they arrive with a partner. As she told Cosmopolitan, “[i]t’s necessary for the model to have a partner to assist with the shoot to help with costume changes and, of course, erection maintenance.”

The term ‘model’ is apparently a loose term.

Check out the video the New York Post produced about Soraya’s work.

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[h/t Some E-Cards]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.