What ever happened to a butt-stuff-free welcoming. Can anyone be initiated in a frat or the workplace anymore without getting an Italian sausage stuffed up his poop shoot? I just can’t understand the payoff.
“Hey Dan, or is it Dale? So Linda will show you around and get you situated in a second. But first things first: bend over and let me stick this blunt object up your rectum, stranger. You know, for camaraderie, pal! …And so I can masterbate to it later.”
When I started here at BroBible, I was greeted with a bunch of handshakes and an upscale lunch. As far as I can remember, no one even mentioned my asshole. Pretty asshole-free welcoming actually. I think I’d prefer it that way, thanks.
And I’d much rather be starting here than this Texas volunteer fire department who recently had seven members of its crew arrested, including the chief and assistant chief, for hazing a new firefighter recruit.
From Fox 4 News:
“The arrest warrant affidavit states the trainee told authorities the firefighters looked for a broomstick before deciding to use the sausage in the assault, during which the trainee was held down.
Video of the incident shows the firefighters yelling and laughing, according to the affidavit.
The trainee threw up after the assault, according to the affidavit.
After the incident, the trainee had his clothes taken from him while he was in the shower. When he exited the shower one of the firefighters took his towel and the trainee had to run outside to his vehicle to get clothing from his car.”
The fire department’s chief and assistant chief did not participate in the initial activities but tried to cover their asses when shit hit the fan.
“The warrant says that the two chiefs knew exactly what was at stake, telling the firefighters that if they didn’t keep quiet, “…there would be consequences because law enforcement would investigate this as a sexual assault.”
Five firefighters were charged with sexual assault and the women who recorded the incident was charged with improper photography. The chief and assistant were both charged with tampering with witnesses.
Overruled. I call for Death by Sausage.
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[H/T Total Frat Move]