These Three Bros Voting For Donald Trump Are, Dare I Say, The Most Bro-Tastic Bros We’ve Ever Seen
Every day on this site we bombarded you with bros. Bros who do beer pong dunks and bros who use Tinder to slay tang and bros who straight fuckin’ bro down all the damn time.
Believe it or not, I actually have my three favorite Bros from two-and-a-half years working here. It’s these three Texas dudes drinking beer and singing along to some Jason Aldean.
I mean, that’s just some good old fashioned Broin’ right there.
But today the torch has been passed, for the three Bro Kings are now Brody Buck, Turner Eakins, and Tate Moyer. God damn those are some good damn Bro names. Here they are at a Donald Trump rally.
Left to right, that’s Brody, Tate and Turner. Brody in the American flag shirt he ripped the sleeves off, Tate in a Donald Trump tank, and Turner, repping Sig Ep Rush 14, in the style of Reagan Bush.
They’re all 18 (or so), and they are the focus of a CNN feature on why they are voting for Donald Trump. These dudes were in diapers during 9/11, but they know what the real problems in America are, and they know Donald’s gonna fix him.
Well, for starters, he comes out for speeches to Twisted Sister’s ‘We’re Not Gonna Take It.’ Obama’s campaign song in ’08 was U2’s City of Blinding Lights, which is some BITCH shit. I mean, hell, on that alone, Trump’ll be 50 times better than Obama.
But these Bros’ Trump love isn’t superficial. They like how he’ll take on China. They dig how he uses words ordinary dudes do. How they’re not sexist when they say shit about women, so neither is Trump.
Most importantly, as they point out, they’re only 18. They’ve never seen America great. Distant stories, they’ve heard, tales of yore, an experience they yearn to have.
There’s only one man who can do that for them. Give them the lives they want.
Donald. J. Trump.
What they’ll do in four years when they graduate from college and the candidate they supported has run the country into the ground, well, that’s a matter for another time. Until then, Bro on, you shining, shining Bros.