This past weekend I went out to Pittsburgh decked in orange and black for the Battle Of Pennsylvania at Heinz Field. The Flyers suck ass right now, but whatever — It was a delightful, drunken afternoon of wintertime outdoor day drinking, shit-talking everything I hate about Yinzers, and why the Eastern part of Pennsylvania will always be better than the Western part.
My personal highlight was when waiting in line outside the gate to get in with my sister, brother-in-law, and mom teaching some Pens fan how to add a pic captioned “Flyers fans are fucking pussies” to his Snapchat story. I thought it was a little weird he was sending it directly to someone in his contact list named “Mom” — He admitted he felt like a real dumbass when a Flyers fan was better at basic social media literacy than him.
Stupid Yinzers.
One of the great things to go viral from the game is 24-year-old Alec Lessner’s “Wawa Is Better Than Sheetz” sign, which was shared hundreds of thousands of times on CSN Philly’s Facebook page. Growing up in the 717, my sports team allegiances were Philly-born despite being deep in the heart of Sheetz country; My hometown had four of them, all giant beacons of munchie heaven at night (fun fact: After my sister’s wedding a few months ago I drunkenly loaded up a meatball sub with french fries and cheese sticks whiles my brother roasted me for going full Pennsyltucky white trash).
https://twitter.com/Katiee_Bench143/status/835618912750436352
Doesn’t matter if it was at Pitt, Kutztown, Shippensburg, Penn State, or Temple — EVERY Pennsylvania college kid ever has sat around with a group of friends from around The Commonwealth immersed in a Sheetz vs. Wawa argument.
So… Which chain is the clear winner? Sheetz will always be there for you if you need a ham & cheese MTO pretzel sandwich or a Mt. Dew or a pack of cigs or a strong cup of coffee that makes your insides feel like it’s running on jet fuel. Sheetz has a soda cave! And it was the first to sell beer in the Keystone State! Plus all those endless flavors of UTZ Crab chips! It’s take a nuclear apocalypse to get one to close.
But it’s so painfully obvious that Wawa reigns supreme in the Great 100-Year Pennsylvania Convenience Store War. For starters, the Tastykake shelves are way more prominently displayed. And the hoagies just… taste better. They’re made with TLC, like real hoagies should.
Lessner, Kennett Square native, puts the nail in Sheetz’s coffin with this kicker in his interview to CSN:
What’s the best thing about Wawa and what makes it so much better than Sheetz?
“That’s pretty much an impossible question to answer! If I had to go with my gut, I’d say the soft pretzels. I rarely make a Wawa run that doesn’t include the purchase of a pair.
“I know that Sheetz has fried food and burgers, but I personally believe that the quality of Wawa’s food and service is head and shoulders above Sheetz’s. The gas prices are better, the drinks are better and the overall vibe is better. It’s not really a contest, in my mind.
“I said this jokingly a lot in Pittsburgh, but Wawa truly is a lifestyle. Plenty of Sheetz fans tried to convert me, but I raised one question that stumped them all, “If you love Sheetz so much, where’s YOUR sign?”
Wawa: It’s a lifestyle.
Sheetz can try as hard as it wants but it will never have that going for it.