This Woman Got Size 32K Breast Implants To Become A Model…Except She Looks Like A Dumpster So That’s Not Gonna Happen

I’m all for body positivity and loving who you are, but there’s a difference between being happy with yourself and being delusional. I, for example, know that I will never be a model because I am neither tall enough nor skinny enough, and that’s fine! I can live a perfectly fulfilling life despite never being a model.

Martina Big, on the other hand, has convinced herself that getting size 32K breast implants will somehow achieve her fame and glory. Which, to be fair, if your definition of “fame and glory” is making it onto In Touch Weekly online and, then hayyy-o good for you lady! Then again it probably isn’t, in which case she might wanna deflate her veiny boobs before they start sagging to her ankles by the time she hits 50.

Via In Touch Weekly,

The 26-year-old — who says she always admired Pamela Anderson — opted to get rare implants that are “very stretchable,” allowing a doctor to easily fill them with saline to enlarge them as she sees fit.

Yes, because the phrase I want people to use when describing my boobs is “very stretchable.” You know what else is “very stretchable?” Chewed gum. Silly putty. Slinkies. None of these are objects that I want to be comparable to my chesticles.

Despite my obvious skepticism, Martina apparently has no regrets about inflating her boobs to the size of any given moon currently orbiting Jupiter, saying “It’s all about the image that I had to maintain as a flight attendant for the airline. Small, discrete body modifications are no problem as a flight attendant but I wanted a showy, extravagant look.”

And because the world is an unsurprising place, Martina is reportedly considering butt implants.

Of course she is.

[H/T In Touch Weekly]