Man Pretended To Be A Doctor To Perform Breast Exams Also Stuck A Thermometer Where The Sun Don’t Shine: Lawsuit

It has been 0 days since Florida did something to be considered a national embarrassment, and this is one of those stories that makes me ashamed at my fellow Floridians. According to a police report Howard Harlib, 62, of Miami Beach was charged with assault and practicing medicine without a license after luring a woman into his home under the guise of looking for a new nursing assistant for his (non-existent) medical practice.

According to a report from Local News 10, once the (alleged) victim in his home he proceeded to perform a breast exam and take her temperature rectally (with her clothes still on), as well as prod her with questions about whether or not she’d be cool with a patient masturbating in front of her.



The woman had showed up at his house after responding to a job listing on a community board and was uneasy going into the interview, things only got a lot worse from there. Local News 10 reports:

According to an arrest report, the victim, Antonia Pascal, saw an advertisement for a nursing assistant/home health aside assistant position listed on Beacon Hill Training Center’s community board.
Pascal told detectives that Harlib asked her several questions that made her uncomfortable, such as whether she would be uncomfortable if a patient masturbated in front of her or touched her breasts. He also asked if she knew how to take a patient’s temperature rectally.
When Pascal questioned why Harlib was asking her those things, she said he told her, “Well, sometimes a patient can touch your breasts. Is that OK?” She said that he also told her that some patients would masturbate because they “can’t help themselves,” and that sometimes patients’ temperatures had to be taken rectally.
Police said Harlib also asked Pascal to bring a pack of Kool cigarettes for his patient and asked her what type of clothing she would be wearing and what car she would be arriving in.
Despite her concerns, Pascal said she went to Harlib’s home, where she believed she would be meeting with a patient.
Police said Harlib made small talk with Pascal before touching her breasts and pushing a thermometer between her buttocks over her clothing, claiming to be demonstrating the proper way to take a temperature rectally.

Why does creepy shit like this ONLY HAPPEN IN FLORIDA?!?! I swear to each and every one of you that Florida is not all bad. The state is full of natural beauty (some of the best beaches in the world), incredible fishing, some great colleges, yet for whatever reason day after day Florida makes headlines for the most WTFlorida news imaginable.

I know that it’s hot as hell about 320 days of the year, but the sun cooking people’s brains is NO EXCUSE for disgusting behavior like this. Are the laws just not strict enough? Is there a massive underground network of completely insane people who all moved to Florida together to make the state as crazy as possible? Or is it that the media just pays more attention to the weird news of Florida than anywhere else? I need these answers.

For more on this story CLICK HERE to head on over to the Palm Beach Post!