LaVar Ball Claims The Only Downside To His Sons’ Fame Is Profound Loneliness: ‘You’re Never Going To Meet A Good Woman’

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“If you choose money over love, you will always be poor.”
-Not LaVar Ball

When discussing LaMelo Ball’s reported $100 million PUMA deal with LaVar Ball on our Endless Hustle Podcast, the patriarch interpreted the nine-figure payday for his 19-year-old son the way a child views getting a toothbrush in his Christmas stocking.

“$100 million is a lot of money for people who ain’t got no money!” he said, hurtfully.

While LaVar fully expects his three sons to be billionaires (not to be confused with centi-millionaires), he’s totally resigned to the idea that they will never experience the all-encompassing fulfillment of an authentic romantic partnership.

LaVar, who’s been married to his wife Tina for 23 years, detailed why his boys will spend every Valentine’s Day until retirement wiping away tears with wads of cash while watching A Walk To Remember.

“If you’re in this profession, which you got all this fame and notoriety, how you going to meet a good girl? You’re not.

You’re going to meet her in the restaurant where you eat. Or you’re going to go to a club where you dance. Or you’re going to meet her at the arena.

So I hate to tell ya, you’re going to meet a hoe!

You’re never going to meet a good woman. And the time you do, let’s say you hit 30, and then you meet a woman and she’s 30, you gotta wonder why she’s by herself at 30. So there’s something that’s dangerous no matter how good they look!

But have a good time son. I feel bad for you, but I love the fact that you made it!”

Arthur: What happens when one of the kids brings home, in your words a ‘hoe,’ and you know you got a bad situation on your hands?

“I’ve already seen ’em! They already brought a few through here.

A lot of them look good but they’ve got different motives.

…My sons’ job is traveling to 40 different states. How you going to meet someone and be solid? It’s not going to happen. Sorry. You have to retire!”

It’s worth tuning into the entire hour-long Endless Hustle interview with LaVar Ball, who also talks about the NBA Draft, the state of the Big Baller Brand, his beef with Charles Barkley, his hopes for Biden’s presidency, his unorthodox parenting tactics, and more!


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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.