Baseball Umpire Straight Up Quits Mid-Game After Obnoxious Mom Rips Him Over His Height


The only thing worse than bad referees at a sporting event is a group of helicopter parents hiding behind a pint of Pinot Noir in a flower-printed coffee tumbler running their mouths because little Tommy has more K’s than a passive-aggressive girlfriend’s text thread.

And by ‘worse’ I mean best, for everyone who wasn’t directly involved.

On a Newport Harbor (CA) baseball field, an umpire straight up quits mid-game after Bake Sale Becky and her husband Ned (names cannot be confirmed) decided to get personal after what they viewed as a sub-par job from an umpire hired to call a U13/U14 baseball game.

Bake Sale Becky should be banned from every PTA meeting ever after literally picking at the scab of this ump’s deepest, most profound insecurity in front of dozens of people and another 300,000 online.

I mean seriously, how about the fried feta balls on Bake Sale Becky for dressing this poor bastard down who’s probably making like, what, 15 bucks an hour? Becky makes more than that selling one bunt cake when she sets up a stand outside Tommy’s scholastic book fair despite backlash from Principal Anderson that she doesn’t have a permit.

Becky, who I’d venture to guess is a good 30 years removed from her prom queen runner-up days, is taking heat online for calling this ump shorter than her and Ned’s anniversary fuck.

It remains to be seen how this incident will affect sales of  Becky’s gingerbread men people at the middle school holiday bake sale.

[h/t Busted Coverage]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.