Dallas Cowboys guard La’el Collins started 11 games in his rookie season and had what many considered a solid first year. Apparently, that effort, along with an impressive offseason, gave Collins enough confidence to wear these pancake-themed cleats that seriously look nothing like pancakes…
If you were to take away that pad of melting butter near the toe, what would you have? Certainly not pancakes. That “syrup” is a joke! At first glance, I was sure it was skinned human muscles with blood dripping down. As if my man ran into the Predator en route to practice. Either that or a camel’s nutsack.
Granted, a short stack on shoes is no easy task, but don’t show me these and tell me they’re pancakes. ‘Cuz if anyone knows pancakes, it’s this guy. I ate chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast my entire high school career. They were the reason I’d come out gunnin’ in the first quarter of football games and come out sluggish af in the second half. Now, I opt for the protein pancakes from Muscle Maker Grill. Those things last about half a minute in front of my face. Gotta go Land O Lakes whipped butter with Aunt Jemima’s syrup.
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If the Cowboys lose the Super Bowl, you know who to blame. La’el Collins and his weak cleats. At least, that’s the hot take from former Giants coach Jim Fassel.
La’el needs to take a cue from Odell Beckham Jr., Von Miller, and Snoop Dogg. Odell’s Back To The Future Nike Air Mags were heavy, Doc. Miller’s Kryptonite cleats took down Superman Cam Newton. And Snoop’s shoes? Money.
Via Fox Sports