When it comes to Twitter accounts of former professional athletes there are four out there that are head and shoulders above the rest when it comes to being a must-follow for the type of off-the-wall content (and ensuing comments) they are guaranteed to provide: O.J. Simpson, Lenny Dykstra, Larry Johnson, and Jose Canseco.
Today we have the pleasure of delving into the unique mind of former MLB slugger Jose Canseco, who just posted a series of very odd tweets about how he is going to be teaching “dream control seminars.”
“I am going to teach dream control seminars,” Canseco wrote Wednesday night. “After you get your masters in dream control you will be able to enter a facility where you will be put in an [sic] coma induced dream state for whatever time you choose and be able to do whatever you want with no restrictions whatsoever…”
Sounds promising. Do tell me more, Professor Caneseco.
“If you die in your sleep you stay in the dream state plain [sic],” Canseco added. “So you better know how to control your dreams.”
Wait… who said anything about dying? And is this true? I am going to need to see some scientific research backing this claim up, Bash Brother.
“First lesson in dream control,” he goes on. “Ask yourself am I dreaming as much as possible ..once you ask that question while your dreaming you will know what to do.. Limitless power in dream control a gate to another life.”
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Right there with you, Bill. You’re not the only confused by Jose’s ramblings.
This is a MASTERS program?!— Gabe Delahaye (@gabedelahaye) May 14, 2020
do I need an undergraduate degree before I get my masters in dream control— JoJo (Sinker) (@HeyLookItsJoJo) May 14, 2020
You’re insane but this sounds tempting— TheGreeknd (@gmoneyy72) May 14, 2020
Could I dream infinitely where it’s just me eating Captain Crunch but my mouth never hurts and it’s always the right cereal-milk ratio?— Mingle Kelingle (@MingleKelingle) May 14, 2020
Do I take a 2x4 to the back of the head, or an old fashioned rear naked choke to enter this coma like dream state?— Equipto (@TheRossRiggin) May 14, 2020
There is no timeline where "put into a coma-induced dream state" doesn't end with me in a tub of ice water sans kidneys.— Scooptimus Prime (@ScooptimusPrime) May 14, 2020
You had me at coma— Andrew Dickinson (@HoboAndyJoe) May 14, 2020
Please never stop tweeting.— BAER (@TheGreatDanBaer) May 14, 2020