From drinks by the pool, to drinks on the beach, to your summer 4th of July cookout you are guaranteed to consume alcohol this summer. Every beer maker in the US has already shipped out and begun to promote their lighter “summer” brews. Since you have been focused on getting shredded for the beach maybe you have been drinking less than normal. But its summer and when you hit the club and start dancing with some cutey from Des Moines are you really going to order a club soda and vodka? That is a sure sign to show her just how exciting life with you might be. Here are some low calorie drinks you can indulge in that won’t cause you to overshoot your calories, make you not look like some lameo, and will put some hair on your shaved yet muscular chest.
This first drink is one of the original classic cocktails that David A. Embury wrote about in his book The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks. Bro, if you want to look like a man and add a little sophistication to your drink choices this is a great choice.
2 ounces of bourbon ( I use buffalo trace which has about 69 calories, giggity giggity)
1 ounce of sweet vermouth (use dry if you wish your call brodowski both have around 45 cals)
2 dashes of bitters
1 maraschino cherry (optional)
How to Prepare:
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice, combine whiskey, vermouth, and bitters. Shake well, around 20 seconds, then strain into cocktail glass. Add cherry or put in a twisted lemon peel and serve in a lowball glass or martini glass
Want to feel even classier this summer and drink like an old-school playboy? Alright, Broseph Gordon-Levitt I got the drink of choice for the man who made Don Jon look like Screech Powers, Don Draper.
The man who caused women to swoon from the 1960s to the 2000s consumed a bourbon drink that is not only my go-to cocktail at fancy ass establishments but also clocks in at 150 calories. Mad Men may be over, but it doesn’t mean you can’t carry on Don Draper’s spirit with this classy ass drink.
The Old Fashioned
2 ounces of bourbon ( I use Angel’s Envy which has about 69 calories like Buffalo Trace)
1/ teaspoon of demerara sugar aka turbinado/brown sugar (has around 6 cals)
2 dashes of bitters
1 sliver of an orange peel
In old-fashioned glass, mix the sugar and bitters until it becomes a paste, you may add a teaspoon of water to help it along.
Add the whiskey, fill glass with ice.
Stir for 20-25 seconds, a bit longer if you have large cubes.
Garnish with orange peel.
Perhaps you are the calorie counting, macro smashing, obsessive-compulsive Bro but you still want to get down with some summer drinks, but all that sugar and extra stuff are too much for your precious macros to handle.
In that case, you forgo all the added ingredients and just drink your bourbon or whiskey, or maybe you live by my motto, Scotch and Squats, and drink a fine Scotch straight.
2 ounces of one of the above mentioned forms of booze
Ice or a dash of water (optional)
Most 90 proof bourbons, Irish whiskeys, or Scotch will clock you in at around 68-70 calories per serving. Meaning that you can clock in here just under 140 calories per 2 ounce pour.
If you are the beer-drinking kind of bro and just can’t do the finer things in life, number one Ron Swanson hates you and thinks less of you as a man, and number 2, there is but one beer option that is low in calories and doesn’t taste for four-day old beach urinal piss: Guinness.
A 12-ounce serving of Guinness will set you back 126 calories. Sure it does not have the punch of alcohol like some micro brews, but it also won’t turn your six pack into a keg any time soon.
Skip the daiquiris, the margaritas or the “ultra light” piss water beers this summer and sip on these drinks poolside, in da club, or relaxing on the beach showing off your hard-earned abs from your Spring fat-shredding. Stay classy my friends!