Raiders Owner Mark Davis, Worth $500 Million, Cashes In On Vegas Slot Machine In God’s Latest Sick Joke

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At the time of this writing, thousands of Boomers are taking long drags from longer menthols and posting up at slot machines in Vegas casinos, drinking cocktails while the rest of America opts for coffee, pulling a lever on a dream that will never be realized.

Meanwhile Las Vegas owner Mark Davis sits his $500 million tush down at a slot machine, yanks the lever, and a congratulatory siren bellows throughout the Virgin Hotel in Sin City.

According to TMZ, the 66-year-old pulled up to the Wheel of Fortune slots around 11 PM earlier this week and with one pull, became $1,800 richer. For perspective, that can purchase your average Boomer 141 packs of Newports. A true haul.

Eighteen hundred dollars is hardly life-changing money for most, but when you consider the cartoonish odds of winning something, anything, on slot machines, it’s truly astonishing who ended up beating the odds.

Via Investopedia:

  • Slot machine odds are some of the worst, ranging from one in 5,000 to one in about 34 million chance of winning the top prize when using the maximum coin play.

As if inheriting an NFL sports team from your father and moving into a $2 billion stadium wasn’t lucky enough, let’s tack on a month-and-a-half rent for the average American.

God steals Robin Williams from us and rewards a guy who would drop $14 million to live in this supervillain monstrosity.

The world truly does work in mysterious ways. And I don’t like it.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.