Doctor Tells Olympians They’ll Be ‘Swimming In Human Crap,’ Meanwhile A Corpse Has Surfaced In The Sailing Venue


The 2016 Summer Olympic Games in Rio have had a few “issues” getting ready so far. Assuming you call an uninhabitable Olympic Village, an untreatable super bacteria, dead bodies on the beach volleyball courts, people being held hostage by police and the “Highway of Terror” issues.

Nothing a little elbow grease can’t fix, right?

Well, maybe not, because now there is a report by the New York Times that makes competing in any event in water outdoors sound simply wonderful…

“Foreign athletes will literally be swimming in human crap, and they risk getting sick from all those microorganisms,” said Dr. Daniel Becker, a local pediatrician who works in poor neighborhoods. “It’s sad but also worrisome.”

So how does one actually compete in this water and, you know, not die, then?

“We just have to keep our mouths closed when the water sprays up,” said Afrodite Zegers, 24, a member of the Dutch sailing team, which has been practicing in Guanabara Bay.

Oh, c’mon now, I don’t know, this photo of Guanabara Bay from a year ago doesn’t look so bad…

rio olympics guanabara bay

Getty Image


But, as they say, WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

Another new report just came out that has even more delightful news about the sailing venue.

Surely one dead body can’t really affect anything, right? I mean, just boat around it. What’s that? Competitors report having bumped into “more than one dead body” while practicing? Yeah, that might actually be a problem.

But hey, there’s still a whole week to fix this stuff, right? Plenty of time!

H/T New York Times; SportsGrid