12 Amazing Viral Quotes And Moments From Mike Leach’s Always Legendary Press Conferences

The college football world is reeling Tuesday morning with the news of the passing of 61-year-old Mississippi State University head football coach Mike Leach following complications from a heart condition.

“Mike was an innovator, pioneer and visionary. He was a college football icon, a coaching legend but an even better person,” said Mississippi State University Interim Athletics Director Bracky Brett. “We are all better for having known Mike Leach.” 

While college football fans didn’t get to know Mike Leach personally, he often made it feel like they did. This was especially true during his weekly press conferences where the coach would often go completely off the rails in some entertaining tangent.

Leach, who unabashedly expressed his love for pirates over the years, was never afraid to go off topic and those watching were almost always the better for it.

Here are some of Coach Leach’s best press conference moments…

Mike Leach Hates Cell Phones And E-Mail

In 2009, when he was the coach at Texas Tech, Mike Leach was asked about e-mails at Big 12 Media Day.

“Those little phones that do that, I’d like to break those things,” said Leach. “I’m not sure they shouldn’t outlaw ’em. Everybody says, ‘oh, it’s so convenient,’ and then they go, ‘oh, well it won’t come up, well it always works except this time.’ No it doesn’t.”

Mike Leach Predicts Online Dating Will Lead To Human Extinction

Back in 2014 while he was with Washington State, Leach expressed concern during a presser about the future of society.

“I’m not really good with technology. All this button pushing and whatnot,” said Leach. “I mean, you can just imagine based on what’s happened in the last 15 years. Conversations won’t happen 10 years from now. There aren’t going to be people to talk to, it’s going to be this (mimics pushing buttons). ‘Do you want to go out on a date with me?’ ‘I don’t know, what do you look like?’ ‘Well I look kind of like this.’ ‘OK, what are your interests?’ ‘Well, what do you think my interests are? Looking into this thing and typing into this just like yours are.’ ‘Yeah, no kidding, that’s what everybody’s doing.’ ‘Well, where do you want to go?’ ‘Well, what difference does it make? Because all we’re going to be doing is looking into machines anyways.’ Well, that’s true and in the end it’s going to be tough to perpetuate the species. There’s no question about that. So we’re all going to look in this box and eventually be extinct. That’s how it ends.”

Mike Leach Gives The Greatest Advice On Getting Married

During a media session in 2017 prior to a game against rival Washington, a reporter who was getting married asked the coach for some wedding advice. He did not disappoint.

Mike Leach Dismantles Arguments Against An Expanded College Football Playoff

Mike Leach Perfectly Sums Up The Sport Of Golf While Explaining Why He Doesn’t Play

Mike Leach Offers Absurd Halloween Advice (And It Involves Stripper Costumes)

Among the many gems in this presser was Mike Leach saying that it’s important to have “mobility with your costume” in order to get around to houses as fast as possible to snatch up all the candy.

Mike Leach Riffs For Two Minutes About The Best College Football Mascot

For his money, one mascot ranks above all others.

Mike Leach Offends People With OCD, The State Of California, And Analyzes A Mascot Fight, All In One Day

“What kind of mythical powers does a Sun Devil have? We gotta consider that,” said Leach in 2019, adding, “You’d have to get one of those Harry Potter activists to read up on how you kill a Sun Devil, because there’s a lot of outside stuff there.”

Mike Leach Spends Half His Press Conference Discussing Coaches Covering Their Mouths On The Sidelines

“I get a kick out of it, but these same people that are covering their mouth all the time, you know, like there’s lip readers because, you know, you know, America has always been this huge bastion of lip readers. You know, starting from kindergarten in some parts of this country, children are raised to read lips,” Leach opined in a tangent that went on and on and on.

Mike Leach Spends Over Two Minutes Of His Weekly Press Conference Talking About Zombies

For some reason, a reporter asked him what he would need to have in the case of a zombie apocalypse.

“I honestly think, I don’t think I’d have to store that much. I’d have to store all my favorite things and have a nice, locked-in space. Zombies seem to be able to climb, so I don’t think height is a big deal. And obviously I’d want to blast of couple just to see how that comes together,” he explained. “But I actually think, in a zombie apocalypse, I would die of boredom before anything else. I think some of my neighbors would start shooting zombies – okay there’s another one, and there’s another one, and another zombie, oh okay, this is a really ugly zombie, wow, pretty attractive for a zombie. And then, no, I think I’d die of boredom, I really do.”

Mike Leach Rambles About Cardboard Cutouts Of Fans

Mike Leach Still Wants His Money From Texas Tech After 2009 Firing

While taking shots at Texas Tech, he reminded them that they have not won nine games in a season since he was fired.

Mike Leach Fears Future Generations Of Mississippians Won’t Have Hands

Just this past October, Coach Leach joked that if his pass catchers don’t start using their hands, their kids and grandkids might lose them altogether.

“I’m genuinely fearful that if me and the other coaches don’t get [the receivers] right, that about a generation from now, their kids and their grandkids won’t have hands. From a lack of use, the hands could just disappear,” he said. “We have to correct this. I think that in the end, it’s going to be best for all these guys that they have good hand development, and that they don’t evolve to where they don’t have hands.

Honorable mentions: Leach’s takes on “fat little girlfriends” and Area 51.