Redskins Claim Their Name Is Okay Because Companies Called Donkey Balls, Shank The Bitch, And Reformed Whores Exist

Washington Redskins v Baltimore Ravens

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Hey, if you can’t beat ’em (and if there is one thing the Washington Redskins have shown in the 16 plus years of Dan Snyder’s tenure, it is a complete and utter inability to ‘beat ’em’), you might as well join ’em.

Which has given us a hilariously obscene court filing.

The ‘Skins recently lost federal protection of their name after a court ruled that because it was a racial slur (a judge called it “indisputable“), the government was barred by law from enforcing the trademark.

Washington is appealing the ruling, and in a recent court filing, stated that because other companies with inappropriately bad names have federal trademark protection, they should, too.

A legal “Hey, he killed a guy, so why can’t I?”

It really is a Hail Mary, but a delightful one at that, because here’s a list of companies the Washington Redskins have now compared their brand to, in the court record forever.

  • Take Yo Panties Off clothing
  • Slutseeker dating services
  • Dumb Blonde beer
  • Twatty Girl cartoons
  • Midget-Man condoms
  • Jizz underwear
  • Ghetto Booty
  • Klitoris sex toys
  • Gringo BBQ
  • White Trash Rebel
  • Reformed Whores

The one I like the most is White Trash Rebel, because if there’s anything this is comparable to, it’s Confederate flag-loving rednecks bleating ‘heritage not hate” when pressed with the fact that something they adore proves them to be actual terrible people who reflexively cling to horrendous beliefs just because.

The list goes on and on, each more embarrassing the next.

This argument isn’t going to work and simply is delaying the inevitable, which is that soon the Redskins will change their name, and we will all be the better for it.

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