None Of The QBs The Redskins Are Looking At To Replace Alex Smith Are Named ‘Colin Kaepernick’ And People Are Confused

colin kaepernick washington redskins

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On Sunday, Washington Redskins quarterback Alex Smith joined Kevin Ware and Anderson Silva in the Pukeworthy Sports Injury Hall of Fame after his leg was absolutely destroyed in a game against the Texans.

I haven’t seen the video because I’m saving my monthly vomiting ration for the morning after Thanksgiving Eve, but if you’re into that kind of thing, feel free to click here.

The Redskins shelled out probably more than they should have for Smith’s services this offseason, but thanks to his efforts, the team currently sits at the top of the NFC East.

However, they’re now going to be forced to figure out who the hell they’re going to do if they want to stay there for the rest of the season— a solution that probably shouldn’t involve having Colt McCoy as your only option.

I’m sure human lowlight reel Nathan Peterman would love to have a chance to redeem himself but I doubt Washington is going to be hitting him up thanks to his impressively unimpressive game film.

However, there are more than a few guys out there who would love a shot at NFL redemption, and according to Adam Schefter, the team already has some people in mind— none of whom are named Colin Kaepernick.

I know I should expect nothing less from a team owned by Dan Snyder but when you consider all of the candidates available (or, depending on how you look at it, the lack thereof) it is Gary Busey-levels of crazy that Mark fucking Sanchez is getting a call before Kaepernick does.

I’m not the only one who’s confused.

I’m pretty convinced Avril Lavigne was replaced with a body double at some point but I don’t really consider myself a huge conspiracy theory guy aside from that. However, it’s getting a little harder to believe something isn’t going on behind the scenes to keep Kaepernick out of the league.

It’s either that or they’re all just total morons who somehow stumbled into success, and if that’s indeed the fact, it gives me great hope for my own future.

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