These Incredible New SMU Helmets Honoring Vets Will Give You A Raging Red, White, And Blue Flesh Monster

The 2015 Southern Methodist University football team is horrendous. They boast a record of 1-7, with their only win coming at the expense of a 1-7 North Texas. Where’s Eric Dickerson when you need him!? So what does an anemic team do to improve? Change their game plan? Nah. Shuffle the roster? For the birds. Fire their coach? Fuck it, let him keep his job. Change the look of their helmets to the illest caps in college football? DUH!!!

“”The Mustangs will wear the helmets on Friday against Temple in conjunction with their annual Hats Off To Heroes day, commemorating veterans and service members across the country. Per the SMU website:

Complimentary tickets and Boulevard tailgate (Food and Non-Alcoholic Beverages provided) are available for Military Service Members, Veterans, Police Offices, Firefighters, First Responders and their families.

 

If the Mustangs are going to be the worst team in the country, at least they’ll look like the best. Fake it till you make it. Always a motto to live by.

Watch This Presumably Drunk Redneck Break A Tree Branch Across His Buddy’s Back

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.