Today I finally understood the meaning of Matthew McConaughey’s ‘time is a flat circle’ quote from HBO’s True Detective. He goes on to say ‘Everything we have done or will do we will do over and over and over again- forever’ and I now I sit here, trashing the Texas Rangers’ latest ballpark food release after I did the exact same thing last year.
Last season, the Texas Rangers’ Texas Snowballs which consisted of Texas brisket that’s been shredded and rolled up into balls and then dipped in funnel cake batter and deep-fried. I didn’t think it was possible to get more ‘merican and deep-fried disgusting than that but the Texas Rangers have proven to me that they should NEVER be underestimated.
The signature ballpark food for the Texas Rangers in 2018 will be the Dilly Dog and this is all but certain to kill the ‘dilly dilly’ craze. The Dilly Dog is a dill pickle (hence the name) that’s been hollowed out and stuffed with a hot dog, then it’s covered in cornmeal and deep-fried so that it’s turned into a half-hotdog-half-pickle corndog.
The Texas Rangers actually debuted several new dishes today and I have to ask myself, where does this madness end?
Signature ballpark foods are a never-ending game of one-upmanship and it appears the Texas Rangers have officially won that game for 2018 with this absolute abomination.