This Story About Lawrence Taylor Showing Up To A Team Meeting In Sex Handcuffs Is A+

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Lawrence Taylor is lucky he played in the 80s because there is no way his antics would fly in the age of instant outrage. I mean, the Giants took a $2 million life insurance policy on him when he was a rookie. The dude doesn’t even remember the day he was drafted into the NFL because he drank 41 beers!

And with women, the dude made Wilt Chamberlain seem like 2012 Russell Wilson. Ok, that’s an exaggeration, but to put it in perspective: Taylor used strawberry flavored penicillin to stave off potential STDs and would send call girls to opposing players’ rooms to “keep them up as long as possible” before a game.

Carl Banks, Giants’ great and former teammate to Taylor, appeared on ESPN’s new morning show Get Up to tell a highly entertaining story about the greatest linebacker to ever live.

Via NY Daily News:

“We have these meetings the night before the game and everyone is looking around for LT. And we know he’s in the hotel. And he’s got both of his hands underneath his sweater. Lights are off and we’re watching film….and we hear (makes soft metal clanging sound) and we go ‘what’s going on with you?’ and he says ‘I’m handcuffed’, right…from you know…” said Banks, suggesting it was the result of a wild night between the sheets.

The team had to get a Dallas State Trooper to unlock the handcuffs because they couldn’t find keys that worked.

Social media would have gobbled that shit right up.

 

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.