College Dropout Buys Cap And Gown And Walks On Graduation Day

Do you want to hear a stat that’s more effective than birth control? Ok. By the year 2036, putting your kid through four years at a private university will be around $303,000, up from $167,000 today. That’s an 80 percent jump and a lot of money just for your offspring to discover intercourse and get really into the next generation’s Dave Matthews Band.

The only solution to the exorbitant prices of college is to not go.

There are mechanisms you can use to make it appear like you went without actually having to cough up half a mill in tuition money–ie. lying on your resume, forging transcripts, or just attending a random school’s graduation ceremony as if you deserve to be there.

The last tactic is exactly what a dude named Jaron Myers did. Myers never finished college, but walked during graduation at a college he never even attended, using just a little intrepidness and some brass balls. Myers bought a cap and gown from a Missouri State University bookstore and then Photoshopped himself a name card.

The results:

Here is Myers explaining how it went down on a podcast:

The real MVP is the Missouri State faculty, who was chill AF about it.

Good clean internet fun. Can’t wait for someone to overreact and ruin it for everyone!!

[h/t Some eCards]