That Beast Alien Megastructure Turned Out To Be A Bunch Of Loser Comets


There are a lot of bad ass things in the universe. Black holes. Stars. Gas giants. Nebulas. The cosmos are fucking full of cool fucking things.

Not on that list are comets, because comets fucking suck. They are the tilapia of space, a boring, unappetizing, shitty speck that always leaves you unsatisfied.

“Oh, that was lame,” you say, same as when a host serves you a white filet that you find out not to be mahi mahi.

Fuck comets, to be honest, and fuck these comets around KIC 8462852, which cock teased us early in the year into believing we might have found an alien megastructure.

Scientists immediately began investigating the odd dips in light from the star, which could not be explained by the presence of planets.

They quickly deduced it was not aliens. Sad face, whatever. I would have lost interest there, but I am not scientists, and they kept looking to discern what it was they were seeing. Turns out, one of the initial hypotheses, that it was a bunch of loser comets, is most likely true.

The new research study published in the Astrophysical Journal Letters indicates the likely culprit is not an alien construction site, unfortunately, but rather a swarm of comets.

Led by Massimo Marengo, associate professor of physics and astronomy at Iowa State, the research expands on the original stellar discovery made by Yale Postdoc Tabitha Boyajian.

“After further observations, it appears that the scenario in which the dimming in the KIC 8462852 light curve were caused by the destruction of a family of comets remains the preferred explanation,” the paper says.

Most of the comets we see in our Solar System are lone icy bodies whizzing around the Sun. However, it is possible for comets to travel in packs, and that’s what the evidence shows is happening with KIC 8452852. In this case, one very large comet probably led the pack, which explains the 2011 dip. Following behind would be a family of smaller comets, which caused the 2013 blackout.

Pussy bullshit comets. Fuck all of them.

[Via Motherboard]