The range of emotions I’ve fluctuated between during the Trump Presidential bid can only be compared to a high school virgin waiting for his prom date to arrive. At first I thought it was funny, and then I got really scared, and then really angry, and now I’m just enjoying the ride. It’s kind of like getting spanked by your buddy in NBA Jam but instead of letting yourself be bitter about it, you just start pulling up from half-court and shooting on your own hoop.
If this ship is going down, I’m not going to be the dude trying to convince my “love” to make room for me on a piece of large Beachwood in the Atlantic, I’m going to be the dude playing the violin as it sinks.
And now that Trump just pulled quite possibly the least presidential move of all-time, I can fully appreciate it.
The Donald just retweeted an extremely unflattering picture of Ted Cruz’s wife Heidi juxtaposed next to a stunning, pore-free picture of his wife Melania. This occurred just days after Trump threatened to ‘spill the beans’ on Heidi after a super PAC backing Cruz released an advertisement depicting his wife Melania naked, according to Daily Mail.
Live look at Trump after he hit the retweet button:
How will Ted Cruz, the man whose roommate at Princeton called him a giant asshole, widely loathed, and a colossal creep, respond?! Will he fight fire with fire?! Will he proposition Melania with a threesome with he and his wife?
No. No he won’t. He’ll shell the most typical, robotic, prepackaged political response in American history.
Do I want a man whose going to take shots at someone’s wife to be my President? Probably not. But do I want someone who responds to terrorist threats against his marriage by complimenting his opponent? NOPE. The dude will probably ask real terrorists being held for question if they want snacks.
P.S. Why does Ted Cruz’s face permanently look like he just whiffed a gnarly fart. I don’t know if I can look at that for four years.
Let me just cleanse my pallet right quick.
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[h/t Daily Mail]