Florida Girl Gets Arrested And Takes A Dump In The Back Of Police Cruiser In A Stinky Act Of Defiance

Police have been taking a lot of shit these days. But in most cases, its only figurative. But now, thanks to YOU GUESSED IT, Florida, law enforcement is tasked with cleaning literal human shit out of a police cruiser in Tampa Bay.

So this 18-year-old Florida chick named Katelyn Patricia Felegi broke into her ex-boyfriends home last week and damaged his valuables, according to the Tampa Bay Times. The ex-boyfriend was like “uhhhh what the fuck” and called the cops on the spurned lover. She was arrested shortly thereafter.

The police report indicated that while  Katelyn was in the back of the car she “intentionally removed her pants and defecated … thus creating biohazard waste.”

When the officer pulled into the station, none of the Pinellas sheriff’s deputies wanted anything to do with cleaning up Katelyn’s turds. Every officer was like “nah, fuck that. Put me on crossing guard duty but I ain’t scooping poop.” Or something like that. So what did they do? They made the inmates deal with it.

The cruiser was out of commission for eight hours “for proper decontamination procedures,” according to the report. The dump costed authorities $100, consisting of the cleaning supplies and the time the deputies spent overseeing the inmates cleaning the cruiser. This picture may or may not have been taken at the station.

Can’t confirm that, though.

Katelyn faces charges including criminal mischief, burglary and simple domestic assault. But worst of all, mud butt.
[H/T Huffington Post]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.