Matt Patricia Had A Historically Bad Coaching Debut For The Lions And The Internet Was Very Unforgiving


Matt Patricia’s debut as head coach of the Detroit Lions will be one he hopes to forget. The former New England Patriots defensive coordinator got trounced by the Jets by a score of 48-17 at home, 31 of those points were scored in a laughable third quarter. It was the largest margin of defeat for Lions coach in 17 years.

Granted, Patricia didn’t exactly take the reigns of a well-oiled machine. The Lions franchise has just one playoff win since 1957, but Jim Caldwell was fired after back-to-back 9-7 seasons so Patricia has just a small window to get his shit together. That or Matthew Stafford has to stop throwing four interceptions a game.

For must of the second half, Patricia was reduced to dejectedly shaking his head and looking down at his notes to distract himself from the massacre unraveling on the field. Fans of the other 31 NFL teams had a collective chuckle on Twitter at Patricia’s devastating first real test on the job. Ah, the internet is an immoral, unforgiving place.

The Lions have a chance to bounce back Sunday against a 49ers team coming off a 24-16 loss against the Vikings. Lets lay off the Patricia panic button. For now.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.