Pat McAfee Recalls How Peyton Manning Embarrassed A Young Austin Collie For Not Catching A Bad Pass

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Word to the wise: In the totally possible scenario of you making it to the NFL, Peyton Manning getting a new neck and coming out of retirement, and you two linking up on the same team, please whatever you do, do not try to catch one of his passes with one hand.

Former Manning teammate Pat McAfee recently described on his podcast how a young Austin Collie attempted to be flashy with Manning and paid the price.

On his podcast, McAfee remembers Collie running an out-route his rookie season and Peyton throwing him a shitty ball that was a bit out of his reach. In an attempt to haul it in, Collie extended just one hand and failed to come up with the catch. This did not please the General. This did not please the General one bit.

I suggest you listen to McAfee describe how it went down, because the written work just doesn’t do it justice.

Peyton is a sneaky dick! May we not forget the story former Browns’ lineman Joe Thomas told a few weeks back about Peyton calling him up with a fool-proof plan to get traded: take a huge steamy dump on the Browns’ GM’s desk.

Oh yeah, and that time Peyton dropped his balls on a trainer’s head. Hey Austin at least you didn’t get shit on or tea-bagged. Silver linings!


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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.