Nothing good in this world can last. Not love, not health, not Apple products, not me in bed. GoFundMe is no different–the altruistic crowdfunding platform used to help people has been tainted by the toxins of the entitled preying on the idiocracy of a few.
Remember the good old days when we banded together and used the platform to raise over $800,000 for Oregon shooting hero Chris Mintz? Or the U.S. Marine who raised money to help send him to hunt ISIS? Or when we handed this bro 325 bucks to ensure his girlfriend wouldn’t cheat on him on Spring Break? Those were the worthy causes. Giving for a greater good. Powerful stuff.
But then some self-important, participation trophy mongering, delusional shitheads started using the platform to bait suckers into helping them patch up their first-world problems. Like this loser who created a ‘Powerball Reimbursement Fund‘ because she spent her life savings betting on the lottery. Or the chick who started a GoFundMe to get her ‘420’ FOREHEAD tattoo removed. We going to need you to keep that on, sweetheart. So society knows who to run from.
The latest example of utter self-indulgence comes from a millennial who took to Instagram to announce that she had started a GoFundMe page for a new kidney. Just kidding, a new fucking car. Check this out while I vomit into my trashcan.
You ready for ian_bradshaw to become your new hero?
Live look at my boy Ian right now: