LaVar Ball Says Lonzo Will Lead The Pelicans To An NBA Championship This Year After Calling Him ‘Damaged Goods’

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Lonzo Ball has come to his sense and is moving out from under daddy’s iron fist after LaVar referred to his oldest son as “damaged goods” in front of thousands of viewers.

Since then, the Pelicans guard has effectively abandoned the brand his father has made his life’s mission to grow, scrubbing his social media accounts of any mention of Big Baller Brand, and even admitting that his $495 Big Baller Brand Signature ZO2 shoes kept exploding on him during games.

LaVar evidently has begrudgingly eaten a slice of humble pie and is now

“They’re gonna take it all this year, for sure,” LaVar told TMZ at the L.A. Regional Food Bank, where he donated 70,000 bottles of Big Baller Brand Water.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.