How Many More Charitable Acts Must Chad Johnson Do Before Sainthood?

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Proof of God


This is getting ridiculous.

If the Queen can slip out of handcuffs tied to Meghan Markle’s radiator to knight Ringo Starr, the worst Beatle, Pope Francis can put on his big hat and honor an angel walking among us.

While Pope Frank plays hot potato with the gay marriage dilemma, Chad Johnson is putting money in people’s pockets and love in their hearts. As Jesus would.

His latest miracle was put on display this weekend in New Jerusalem (Jacksonville, Florida), when he recruited a disciple to pick him up from a Marriott hotel in Jacksonville and drive him 1.2 miles to the nearest Starbucks, offering a $1,000 reward for his services and an opportunity to meet fraternize with the divine.

Far be it for me to pit myself against the Catholic Church, but I’ll give Jude Law another 48 hours to start shining some light on Johnson’s deeds before I start stealing from the collection box.

Chad Johnson Charged Himself $100 For Each Minute He Kept Restaurant Staff Past Closing To Leave A Hefty Tip

Chad Johnson Pays Stranger $1K To Drive Him For A Late Night McDonald’s Run

Chad Johnson To Hand Out $245K Worth Of Stimulus Money Since Trump Keeps ‘Playing Games’

Chad Johnson Sticks To His Word, Has Started Giving Away Thousands In Personal ‘Stimulus Checks’

Chad Johnson Continues Being The Charitable GOAT, Leaves Obscene Tip On $37 Restaurant Bill To Help With Pandemic Fallout

Meanwhile:

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