COMMENTS OF THE WEEK: Everyone Wants To Talk About Blowjobs, Including Our Female Readers

Bros, welcome to another edition of COMMENTS OF THE WEEK here on BroBible.  A lot of insanity this week: The gross, racist SAE chant at OU sparked national outrage. So many spring break fights happened. One BroBible editor admitted he’s cool with never getting head for the rest of his life.

Which brings us to our comments of the week….

The New Carly Rae Jepsen Music Video For ‘I Really Like You’ Features Tom Hanks’ Finest Acting Performance To Date by adamkimbo

Wilson threw himself off the raft when he heard this song.


Video Leaks Of Alleged Fraternity Brothers At University of Oklahoma Doing An Awful, Racist Group Chant On A Bus by jtrusl

Oklahoma…where they wear ribbed condoms because “they get better traction in the mud”.


This Driverless Mercedes Is Driving Around San Francisco And ‘Blowing Everyone’s Mind’ by Tits McGee

“Once computers are inarguably better drivers than we are and regulations reflect that”

Something about this sentence makes me uneasy. What happens when we realize that computer robots make better humans than us…. or when the robots begin to realize this themselves.


Jack Daniels Brings The Heat Against Fireball With ‘Tennessee Fire’ But Does It Measure Up? – REVIEW by Dickfart

Gross. Flavored whiskey is for girls. Whiskey should taste like whiskey, not spices. If I wanted something with cinnamon, I’d ask my girlfriend to bake me something.


Jerk Paramedic Fired For Taking Selfies With Dying Patients, Captioning Them ‘Another Moron’ And ‘How I Hate My Job’ by m0214

Wow, this is such a violation of HIPAA and oh, right, this is Russia. NVM.


Taste-Testing Taco Bell’s New Sriracha Quesarito by dickfart

I fucking love sriracha. I put it on damn-near everything. Asian food, pizza, pasta, sandwiches, hot dogs, burgers, chicken, soup, BBQ…. it’s incredibly versatile.

But goddamnit, it does not go on Mexican food (or even “mexican food” like Taco Bell). Completely wrong flavor profile. You wouldn’t put fish sauce on a taco; why the fuck would you put sriracha in a burrito?

And damn you straight to hell A-Mac, you blasphemer, you ignorant slut.
Texas Pete is garbage (a shitty interpretation of Louisiana-style sauce, made by North Carolinians, with “Texas” inexplicably thrown in the name like an afterthought), Frank’s is only good on chicken (it’s a wing sauce for fuck’s sake!), and neither are superior to Sriracha as a general-use sauce.


This Hot Bikini And Lingerie Model Is 8 Months Pregnant And In ABSOLUTELY INSANE Shape by aggin:

the baby obviously has no fucking room in there


Lindsay Lohan Tried To ‘Break The Internet’ In A See-Through Top, Internet Remains Unbroken by wvchrisj 

I wouldn’t kick her out of the bed for eating crackers.


Officers Suspended For Supplying Guns, Tanks To Models For Video Shoot That Every American Should See by DubsubGoose

Their was a lot of butthurt surrounding this years calendar. Some armor/artillery guys from the Utah Guard and some SF guys from 19th Group got reprimanded as well, because some bull dyke state senator was upset that men like attractive women and that there are attractive women are willing to make money exploiting this, while also raising money for wounded service members.

Still, always a good idea to consult public affairs beforehand these days, as you can be certain that if you are creating something that many people find enjoyable, someone (probably a democrat) will be greatly offended by it.


The 10 Crappiest States In America Are Exactly What You’d Guess The 10 Crappiest States Are by Nick Ernst

As someone else who lives in West Virginia, I have to also agree.


The 10 Crappiest States In America Are Exactly What You’d Guess The 10 Crappiest States Are by Christopher Moore

I’m surprised to see Indiana included here. I’ve lived there and it’s not really that bad. Work is hard to find. I think that there is a disproportionate negative skew regarding Indiana because of the town of Gary, where no one should ever live(even for free), but unfortunately people do. Ohio being on here is also fairly surprising to me, for similar reasons.


If You Think Farrah Abraham Looks Hot In These Lingerie Photos Of Her At An ‘Art’ Exhibit We Can’t Be Friends Anymore by Supersizedsumo

Duff man didn’t say that he loves her. Therefore, we shouldn’t love her.


Mumford & Sons New Single ‘Believe’ Sounds Nothing Like Mumford & Sons. Naturally, People Hate It by Brosephstallin

Meh, I like it. Makes me want to drink some whiskey, or whisky.


Mumford & Sons New Single ‘Believe’ Sounds Nothing Like Mumford & Sons. Naturally, People Hate It by lhj96

Isn’t Coldplay already a band?


Apple Watch Is Finally Revealed – Specs, Release Date And Features by dickfart

Smart watches were already obsolete and unnecessary before they were invented. Sorry, the smart phone makes them entirely redundant.

And that battery life is fucking terrible. If a “watch” can’t even run 24hrs without having to be wound/charged, what fucking good is it?


A New Study Determined At What Age Dudes Drink The Most by aint_it_j

Sounds like you had a real problem when you were 25 man.


Get Thee To Ireland, Bros, Where Drugs Are Legal For At Least The Next Two Days by Alex19

They should make it like a purge thing. Like every year for 24 hours all drugs will be legal. Definitely think it would be interesting.


10 Things Guys Should Always Do Before, During And After Sex, According To A Professional Sex-Haver by Jordan Diamond-Fuller

I actually want to know if someone actually pulls off picking this chick up via email. That’s real game


The University Of Maryland Terp_Nation Snapchat Is Literally All Tits And Cocaine And…More Tits by Billy_Clydesdale

Does seeing this make any other postgrads just downright angry with jealousy? It does me. I’m straight up Silky Johnson with the amount of hate I’m feeling for the recipients of these Snap Chats, and all the young fuckers who get to do all the drugs in those pictures. I’m sitting in my fucking office/cubicle hoping that Diana from marketing wears a skirt today. Fuck my life and fuck yours too! You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.


A Mobile Phone Battery Is Stabbed With A Knife And Results Indicate The Phone Battery Is Pissed Off by Rodzilla01

That was a truly stupid thing to do. And, now, I suppose we are going to have a rash of idiots trying to duplicate it.


Powdered Alcohol Is Finally Now Legal In America And It’s Gonna Be So Easy To Sneak In Everywhere by Phillip Redd

What happens if I add it to some Everclear or Moonshine?


Brandon Wenerd avatar
BroBible's publisher and a founding partner, circa 2009. Brandon is based in Los Angeles, where he oversees BroBible's partnership team and other business development activities. He still loves to write and create content, including subjects related to internet culture, food, live music, Phish, the Grateful Dead, Philly sports, and adventures of all kinds. Email: